A Journey through Summer

Last year I was unsure about taking on the kids for the summer, for what was to be dubbed "Mommy Camp".  We survived, thrived, and delved into another school year.  Now we are looking forward to summer and a break from school expectations.  New skills are being learned through softball and tennis.  Other constants like karate, swimming, and art also fill up the calendar. We are grateful I am able to stay home with the kids.  Not just financially, but the ability to more directly lead our kids through the early summer of their lives.  Nothing is perfect, but we are trying to follow the example of The One who is.

Greetings from the depths... The depths ... ...of winter ...of the bottomless pit of homework ...of despair over a crisis of faith ...of being overwhelmed with the responsibility and magnitude of parenthood A lot is happening all the time in life.  Sometimes we feel it stronger than others.  This week has been one of those times.  The world seems soooo... big and wrong and you feel so small trying to do anything right. And yet, as I tell my kids, we are responsible for our own actions.  No one else.  So even though it may seem small, I will do my part. I will teach .  Teach my kids they are loved always.  Teach them to be kind, loving, and gentle to everyone they meet. I will love.   Without judgment, just grace. I will learn.   I will keep open to new ideas and information to help me guide my actions and lead my family. My crocuses have been trying to bloom since January.  Snow keeps coming to keep them buried, but the...

Being a mom, wife, doula, etc. often has me taking care of the needs of others leaving little time for myself.  Finding time for myself sometime seems impossible and selfish.  While reading a book for work, the author talked about how many of the things we think are impossible, turn out to be possible after all.  Think of all the things we have done which we thought would never happen.  Simple things like riding a bike, learning to read, even finishing that 12 minute mile test in gym class ... all were achieved in time. Other things like getting through a really rough parenting day, starting a new career, moving to a completely new country; all impossible sounding, but not really impossible. The point the author was trying to make is that if you want something done, you need to realize you are worth it, gather a team of those who will support you, decide what you want, and go for it. So this week, I decided to look at the things that were causing me stress...

As our youngest approaches his 4th birthday, I realized this is the longest we have seen a child grow without another sibling on the way. Our family is in a transition from growing in size to growing up. Our family is at the right size, but it is also bittersweet to think of no more babies.  But then I realize all the adventures we can now try and enjoy with everyone being older and more independent. We were at a family camp a few weeks ago and it hit me that keeping track of three kids no longer felt like taking care of three hundred.  Having other kids to play with and parents to help keep an eye out for everyone also made the event more manageable and enjoyable. Plus, I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited about the dream of everyone in the house being potty trained. There will always be new challenges, life events, hormonal changes, and new discernments along the way.  But as the kids grow, we will also grow as parents. For now, we will enjoy that there are ...

I handed over my mom hat this evening, resigning my position as mom. I no longer felt qualified for the position.  Simple tasks had been failed.  Errors made. I gave up. And then I took it back again and got some dinner and left to pick up a child from his activity.  My husband offered to do it, but I needed to make it right. While fuming at myself earlier in the car , I realized I was the only one there judging me.  I tried to take a look at the big picture.  Some good did happen today. Some grace had been offered and received. Take another breath. Sigh. The car in front of me has a sticker of the Cross by it's license plate. Suddenly the lyrics of an old hymn come to mind. "Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer, blessed Lord, to the place where Christ had died.  Draw me nearer, nearer blessed Lord to His precious bleeding side." God's grace was biggest in His worst moments of death.  I need to remember that it's also true that in my worst moments, Hi...

There are still about a dozen days of summer before autumn makes its official appearance.   Even so, there has already been a chill in the air during these last few days of summer. One could blame the recent hurricanes for the chill in the weather, but there is another kind of chill creeping in. My daughter sought warmth this morning with her winter coat.   Not until she actually tested the temperature herself, did she believe that a light jacket will suffice.   My body felt tinged with cold yesterday and today.   A battle of the air conditioner against the cold temperatures outside; the house just could not feel warm.   But there was another kind of coldness as well. The summer warmth of time spent together at a relaxed paced has crept away as the busy schedules of school, homework, interviews, and appointments crowded in over the past month. I find myself drawn into the role of student.   I am reading three books at once, wi...

Where did summer go? I know I had ten weeks of fun around here somewhere, but it has seemed to vanish under the rush back to school, preparations for new classes, and the million little things that had been put on hold until the kids went back to the supervision of someone other than myself. I was so worried at the beginning of summer that we would be battling boredom and watching movies all day long.   Instead, we regularly had something moving us through the days.   The chores chart became a regular effort without much prompting, which was a big goal of mine.   The kids learned new things, incorporated some of it into their play, and maybe they will remember some of it to tell their kids one day.   Or not…  Water play was one of the favorite activities of summer  Time with family was also precious   Dictionary anyone?  School was a rushed start, with last minute teacher assignments, a confusing bus schedule, and back to back “Back to...