A Journey through Summer

I handed over my mom hat this evening, resigning my position as mom. I no longer felt qualified for the position.  Simple tasks had been failed.  Errors made. I gave up. And then I took it back again and got some dinner and left to pick up a child from his activity.  My husband offered to do it, but I needed to make it right. While fuming at myself earlier in the car , I realized I was the only one there judging me.  I tried to take a look at the big picture.  Some good did happen today. Some grace had been offered and received. Take another breath. Sigh. The car in front of me has a sticker of the Cross by it's license plate. Suddenly the lyrics of an old hymn come to mind. "Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer, blessed Lord, to the place where Christ had died.  Draw me nearer, nearer blessed Lord to His precious bleeding side." God's grace was biggest in His worst moments of death.  I need to remember that it's also true that in my worst moments, Hi...

There are still about a dozen days of summer before autumn makes its official appearance.   Even so, there has already been a chill in the air during these last few days of summer. One could blame the recent hurricanes for the chill in the weather, but there is another kind of chill creeping in. My daughter sought warmth this morning with her winter coat.   Not until she actually tested the temperature herself, did she believe that a light jacket will suffice.   My body felt tinged with cold yesterday and today.   A battle of the air conditioner against the cold temperatures outside; the house just could not feel warm.   But there was another kind of coldness as well. The summer warmth of time spent together at a relaxed paced has crept away as the busy schedules of school, homework, interviews, and appointments crowded in over the past month. I find myself drawn into the role of student.   I am reading three books at once, wi...

Where did summer go? I know I had ten weeks of fun around here somewhere, but it has seemed to vanish under the rush back to school, preparations for new classes, and the million little things that had been put on hold until the kids went back to the supervision of someone other than myself. I was so worried at the beginning of summer that we would be battling boredom and watching movies all day long.   Instead, we regularly had something moving us through the days.   The chores chart became a regular effort without much prompting, which was a big goal of mine.   The kids learned new things, incorporated some of it into their play, and maybe they will remember some of it to tell their kids one day.   Or not…  Water play was one of the favorite activities of summer  Time with family was also precious   Dictionary anyone?  School was a rushed start, with last minute teacher assignments, a confusing bus schedule, and back to back “Back to...

One of my goals for summer was to read some books for entertainment.  I have been reading books, articles, watching webinars, all about birth and breastfeeding.  Staying current for my work is important and leaves little time for getting lost in a book. But sometimes you need to get lost in a book.  Create time and space so the world can stand still while you explore another one.  So, I placed a book from my ever growing reading list on hold at the library and picked it up yesterday. The book is H Is for Hawk, by Helen Macdonald.  I had seen a PBS program about her training goshawks, and it shared she had written an award winning book about her experiences.   Coming back to the present moment, it is nap/quiet time in the household on a Saturday afternoon.  Just what I needed, but the toddler has other ideas.  He can be half asleep on the floor downstairs, but the moment you take him to bed he perks up like a mom on her second cup ...

The kids were ready for a break. Summer has been fun with lots of energy, fun, and excitement. But the kids needed a break. Cue the Rainy Day.  Swimming lessons? No time in the pool today kids! Let's watch a safety video instead! Parents, you can sit outside, listen to the quiet roar of the rain on the patio roof, and smell the sweet aroma of the first summer rain. Boredom?  You can come back another day.  There are crafts the kids have been waiting for a rainy day to try. Nap time? Eh, let the kids relax, tucked in on the couch for a while. After dinner fun? Puddle jumping time, muddy toes, and practice riding new bikes. No rushing, no big agendas; just a rainy day. Thanks Summer.  We needed that.

Thoughts from the back seat Driving from one adventure to another lends itself to random questions and conversations.  The most intriguing question of the week was "where do our eyelids go when our eyes are open?"  A comparison to a garage door and self exploration led to a satisfactory answer.  I often leave the radio off so I can catch these bits of conversation.  Sometimes it is more entertaining than any radio show. Heart Exercises Swimming lessons kicked off this week.  The joyous cry of "Mommy, I can swim!" does a momma's heart good.  But on the other side, hearing your child beat themselves up for not being perfect in a technique can make your heart cry in sorrow.  It is a struggle we deal with regularly.  Creating small attainable goals like making a new friend in class and going just a bit farther than last time seem to help. Counting down the days My husband and I will be escaping in a few weeks for a much needed trip to res...

We are almost three weeks into the summer.  Routines are being established and lessons being learned.  Swimming lessons began today.  I am learning to focus a little less intensely at certain moments so the kids can figure their own ways.  By stepping back, my daughter shared her own voice in questions and concerns for the class. I have also taken on some tasks that I have been putting off for some time.  A bit of sewing for myself and a deep cleaning and reorganization of the kitchen cabinets.  With these drawing my focus the kids have become industrious in their creations, especially when teamwork is at play.    The youngest is beginning to understand games but is convinced he is supposed to win every game.  Lessons in losing and good sportsmanship are a work in progress. We are learning to pace ourselves.  Naps make for more successful afternoons and good choices.  Our next adventure will be bowling ag...