Respecting the Limits
The warm weather of summer has gotten off to an early start with highs in the 90s today. It reminds me of our daughter's first birthday in May. The temperature was over 90 and we had a tired rosy cheeked 1 year old content to be rocked by grandma on the porch swing in the shade. We could have postponed the nap and passed the baby from relative to relative, but that would not have been respecting the needs of the child.
This weekend, while the older two got some fun time at the grandparents house; we had the youngest home with us and my parents who were visiting. We decided to check out the farmer's market and local art fair downtown. Armed with multiple packs of fruit snacks and three other adults for toddler wrangling support, we headed off for our destination.
We had abandoned the stroller approach earlier last Fall as the toddler became too interested in the world to just sit and watch the world pass by. Instead, like a heard of elephants surrounding the young calf, we let the toddler determine the direction through the market. It was pretty clear early on that cookies were the desired order of the day. Booth after booth we looked until he found the holy grail: a Blue Sugar Cookie! Subsequent "Pleases" directed to Mom result in him acquiring his quarry. Knowing he had eaten little for breakfast, I agreed to a mid-morning snack.
Next up was the art fair a block away. The grandparents and I corralled the blue fingered toddler in the direction of the fair while Dad took our purchases to the car. A toddler full of go, being told to wait, is a force to be reckoned with. Fruit Snacks to the rescue! One gummy treat at a time lures the little one back to the meeting point for Dad's return.
Soon we are following the toddler again, exploring various mediums of art. A paper mache rhinoceros and a rusty tiger catch the wandering eye, while mom and grandma check out floral paintings and photographs. Dad and grandpa steer the little blue fingers away from the fragile glass work of other booths.
We are half way around the square when I start to see early signs of fatigue in our young adventurer. Resistance to redirection and requests to be carried confirm suspicions. We could have tried to stay longer. We could have insisted we look at every booth. We could have lamented the short time we were there. But, we didn't. We respected the limits.
As parents we have the privilege of setting the guidelines of behaviors and routine, but we also have the responsibility of respecting their limits. A toddler up at 6:30AM is going to be fading before the typical noon break for lunch. A morning of running errands are sure to drain a daughter who still has an evening of birthday celebrations ahead of her. (40 minute nap? Yes, please!) Knowing their limits and respecting them makes a world of difference in behaviors and the relationship between child and parent.
There will be plenty of adventures, chores, lessons, clubs, team sports, and more that will fill up your summer days. But they all pale in comparison to the relationship of trust between parent and child. Take time to respect the limits. The returns will be many.
This weekend, while the older two got some fun time at the grandparents house; we had the youngest home with us and my parents who were visiting. We decided to check out the farmer's market and local art fair downtown. Armed with multiple packs of fruit snacks and three other adults for toddler wrangling support, we headed off for our destination.
We had abandoned the stroller approach earlier last Fall as the toddler became too interested in the world to just sit and watch the world pass by. Instead, like a heard of elephants surrounding the young calf, we let the toddler determine the direction through the market. It was pretty clear early on that cookies were the desired order of the day. Booth after booth we looked until he found the holy grail: a Blue Sugar Cookie! Subsequent "Pleases" directed to Mom result in him acquiring his quarry. Knowing he had eaten little for breakfast, I agreed to a mid-morning snack.
Next up was the art fair a block away. The grandparents and I corralled the blue fingered toddler in the direction of the fair while Dad took our purchases to the car. A toddler full of go, being told to wait, is a force to be reckoned with. Fruit Snacks to the rescue! One gummy treat at a time lures the little one back to the meeting point for Dad's return.
Soon we are following the toddler again, exploring various mediums of art. A paper mache rhinoceros and a rusty tiger catch the wandering eye, while mom and grandma check out floral paintings and photographs. Dad and grandpa steer the little blue fingers away from the fragile glass work of other booths.
We are half way around the square when I start to see early signs of fatigue in our young adventurer. Resistance to redirection and requests to be carried confirm suspicions. We could have tried to stay longer. We could have insisted we look at every booth. We could have lamented the short time we were there. But, we didn't. We respected the limits.
As parents we have the privilege of setting the guidelines of behaviors and routine, but we also have the responsibility of respecting their limits. A toddler up at 6:30AM is going to be fading before the typical noon break for lunch. A morning of running errands are sure to drain a daughter who still has an evening of birthday celebrations ahead of her. (40 minute nap? Yes, please!) Knowing their limits and respecting them makes a world of difference in behaviors and the relationship between child and parent.
There will be plenty of adventures, chores, lessons, clubs, team sports, and more that will fill up your summer days. But they all pale in comparison to the relationship of trust between parent and child. Take time to respect the limits. The returns will be many.
P.S. Parents have limits too. Know yours and make sure to respect them as well. Everyone will be better for it.
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